My dear friend,
I don’t know how you are or where, but I hope you’re doing fine. We may have lost touch with each other for some time now, but I haven’t forgotten you, I never will. I don’t know what keeps you from writing to me or calling me, but for both our sakes, I hope it is a good enough reason for breaking off that wonderful relationship we shared for a brief period of time in the past – our friendship.
I have come to realise now, that friendship is a burden more than anything else. Though I have been fortunate to include you in its folds, I think that the shoulders of all are not meant to be strong enough to carry its responsibilities. I believe friendship is for the keeps. I want to be able to depend on my friends. I want to be able to trust them. And I want to be a good friend to them in return. Perhaps these expectations of mine are difficult to keep. Perhaps I ask for too much. I don’t know.
If our friendship has lost out to time, fading away over the years, I have no regrets. It happens. Probably you and I have been so busy with our respective lives that we haven’t been able to make the time to remain in touch with each other. But if our friendship could simply not withstand the rigours of distance or clashes of ego, then I have much to grieve for. I cannot understand why things have to be like this. After all, everyone says that the world grows smaller everyday. So it must be true that you are, in a way, closer to me today than you were ever before. And yet, I don’t see you, don’t get to hear from you, can’t have your company. For all I know, you may be living right next door to me, or across the seven seas. Space gets blurred.
I have spent many an idle moment thinking about you, wondering what you must be doing at that point of time. I have felt angry and hurt when you would actually refute, leave alone reciprocate, my attempts at being a part of your life again, however small that part might be. I rue the fact that I have not had the courage to demand your time like the old days. I rue the fact that I have not had the patience or perseverance to persist in renewing the old ties. I rue the fact that the bond that tied us together during good times and bad, today lies withered.
Yet, I cherish the times that we did get to spend in each other’s company! I hope that sometime somewhere in the future, our paths do cross again, if only for a moment or two.
And I remain,
–Devyani Borade writes on the humour and pathos of everyday life. Visit her website Verbolatry at http://devyaniborade.blogspot.com to contact her and read her work
You can see more of Devyani’s work in Volume 9 of Kansas City Voices. Order your copy today at http://www.kansascityvoices.com/05subscriptions/subscribe.shtml